Peace of Mind is All I Want...: May 2007

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Monday, May 28, 2007

A two part post

Part 1:

Background: H & I had some issues getting pregnant. We got our BFP after 2 years. His parents, my parents, my sister and a couple of friends (and the whole internet) have know about our troubles.

Todd's cousin & husband (and 2 year old) live in Dallas. He's kind of close with her but they've drifted apart over the years. She's one of the more superficial I've encountered - it's all about "image" with the 2 of them. Their daughter is always immaculately dressed in foofy dresses, isn't allowed to play outside, can't feed herself (she might spill!), etc. She spent more on the dress her daughter wore to our wedding then I did on my dress Their daughter is the only grandchild on that side of the family and is treated like a princess.

The 3 of them were in town visiting us over the weekend. My husband called them about a week ago to tell them our good news. At that point they fessed up about knowing about our troubles. I'm not particulary shy/reserved about talking about infertility so I was a little surprised that they never said anything but I didn't give it much thought.

They arrived on Friday and got settled, etc. Hugs, kisses, congrats, etc then we all loaded into the car to go out to dinner. Not 2 minutes after we got into the car she says to her husband "Honey, should we tell them the good news? We're pregnant too!". And she thinks she's due on the same day (she hasn't seen her OB yet to confirm anything).

I thought I was going to cry. On one hand, it's unreasonable of me to think that the rest of the world is putting their procreating plans on hold because of us. And it's not like anyone could have predicted that we'd be pregnant. But on the other hand could she have waited 24 more hours to make the announcement?

For the rest of the weekend everywhere we went she mentioned that she was pregnant to every sales clerk, restaurant server, etc. She also informed me that "Our lives were going to change so much". I'm so glad she brought that up - we jumped into this so impulsively I hadn't realized

I feel like a complete asshole for being so petty and jealous. Even my husband is a little hurt. Are we a matched pair of jackasses?

Part 2:

Today is 6w5d and we saw the baby's heartbeat this morning. I've never seen anything so amazing in all of my life. I don't have to go back to the RE for 4 more weeks! I don't think I've gone that long between visits ever. I do have to see my OB in 2 weeks. I'm sure I'll be jonesing for another ultrasound by then anyway.

My fibroid is still lurking around. I'm trying to think of it as an guardian angel for my baby. If anyone has any fibroid info to share I'd be happy to read it. I'm afraid to turn to Dr. Google.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Drumroll please

We're having one baby.

One perfectly measuring (5w6d) beautiful little blob of a baby. My heart has melted beyond recognition.

We'll go back again next week for a follow up and hopefully see that tiny little heart beat but for now seeing our (one) little blob was enough.

Labels: ,

Monday, May 21, 2007

In 21 Hours

In 21 hours I will be wanded at my REs office. I will officially be 5w5d and I'm so, so hopeful that we'll see the beginnings of our baby and everything will look perfect! I'm not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight I'm so excited. (Who am I kidding? I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay awake long enough to watch The Bachelor in the central time zone. I have no touble sleeping these days.)

I'm hoping and praying that we don't have a litter of babies in there. My beta was fairly low but everytime I mention that someone is delighted to laugh at me and share their "normal" beta numbers and point out their multiples. We'll see (hopefully!)

Happy Monday

Labels: ,

Thursday, May 17, 2007

8 Random Things

Samantha at Southern Infertility tagged me to share eight random things. Here goes:

1. I've only recently started to like orange juice. I prefer to have it blended with tangerine juice and pulp free but that's still a huge step from my previous non orange juice drinking self.

2. I don't eat any kind of food on a bone. Ever.

3. My sister is my best friend in the whole world. It wasn't always that way but as soon as I left for college we got super duper close.

4. I sing. Badly. All the time. My husband mostly thinks it's funny.

5. I watch entirely too much television. Especially corny programs on the CW. I'm devastated that Veronica Mars has been cancelled.

6. I'm secretly very, very annoyed with a good friend who has been too busy to get together with our group since she got herself a boyfriend. Another member of our circle has just moved back to town and we're all getting together as a group for the first time over a year and she has to check her schedule to see if she has a run scheduled for the marathon she's training for. Stupid or am I over-reacting.

7. I'm in Chicago for work this week and I can't bring myself to leave the hotel so I've had room service for the past 2 nights. Pathetic but I'm SO tired.

8. I'm terrified of birds.


Monday, May 14, 2007

My new favorite number: 474

Got our 2nd beta today. Our first was done on Thursday and was 73. Today it's 474 - I'm beyond happy.

The first sonogram will be on 5/29 at 8:30 AM (I'm mostly writing that so I don't forget). I'm hoping that will be the point with it soaks in. Right now things are a bit surreal.

Holy cow.

Labels: , ,

Friday, May 11, 2007

I am

I was tagged by PCOS Mama so here goes:

I am pregnant
I am an anxiety filled mess
I am hopeful that my husband will receive the job offer he's been waiting for today
I am so, so quietly excited about this
I am afraid
I am looking forward to spending my nephews first birthday with him
I am looking forward to going home and going to sleep
I am not looking forward to a business trip next week
I am starving
I am hoping very hard that everything is going to turn out okay


Thursday, May 10, 2007

My new favorite number is 73

That was my beta this morning.

I'm still in complete and utter shock.

We ended up keeping our appointment with the fertility clinic. It was good to meet the doctor and see the facility, especially if something goes awry and we end up needing their services afterall. The place was amazing - they have their own lab and surgical center. All of the staff was incredibly kind and the doctor was humorous and comforting.

I'll have another blood draw on Saturday and hopefully we'll see something around 140ish.

How long does it take to believe this is real?


Wednesday, May 09, 2007

So I peed on a stick this afternoon.

At 9dpo my beta was negative.
11 dpo my temperature dropped.
Spotting at 12, 13 & 14 dpo.
Today is 15dpo - no spotting today. I peed on a stick and got a BFP. On a digital test. How on earth is that possible??????

We have our IVF appointment tomorrow which we are still keeping - they're going to do a beta since I can't get back into my doctor this afternoon. I'm utterly flabergasted.

ETA: I took another test. Different brand. STILL positive. I'm starting to warm up to the idea.

Labels: ,

Monday, May 07, 2007


I started spotting yesterday - not a big surprise. While I would have been overjoyed to get pregnant this cycle my expectations were that it would be a bust so I'm not terribly disappointed.

Mostly because I have my IVF consult on Thursday. I only have to wake up THREE MORE TIMES! To say that I'm excited would be a huge understatement.

I wish I had a better idea of what to expect. My appointment falls on CD3 - will they do the usual bloodwork/ultrasound? Will I start BCP? Will I have to take a cycle off? I'll be monitored locally but will have to make a few trips to the clinic - how much time should I anticipate needing off? Can I afford to take a few days for a long weekend away with H or should I save those for clinic trips?

I really want a timeline for this stuff. I've been reading a lot about the process but don't know yet where we specifically fit ourselves into that puzzle.


Friday, May 04, 2007

Oh how my body likes to eff with me

So I had my beta yesterday (9dpo) and it was not surprisingly negative. I cried a little last night but in general was fairly okay with the situation and was ready to move on.

Except that the spotting never started and my temperature went up this morning. And I still haven't spotted. And my P4 is something crazy like 65.

We'll see what the weekend brings!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Important! Family Building Act before Congress

From Resolve -
The Family Building Act of 2005 (HR 735), introduced by Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY), would require insurance coverage of infertility treatments (including up to 4 IVF attempts) by all health plans that also cover obstetrical benefits.

Please Contact your representatives and ask for their support.

Resolve has an easy way. Just copy and paste the link below, fill in your info and send!

Temperature drop

(I know, I know - get rid of the thermometer)

Well, my temperature fell this morning. 9DPO - go figure. I haven't started to spot yet but I anticipate that will begin before I go to bed tonight. While I'm definitely disappointed I wasn't expecting much from this cycle so I'm not devastated.

Besides, we have our IVF appointment next week. Since that's been the plan all along I'm happy this detour is mostly over and I can get back on track.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Why do they do this??

My RE's nurse called (Is it bad that I recognize her voice before she identifies herself?) to tell me that my P4 is elevated (I hadn't even been taking the supplements prior to the blood draw) and I need to go in for a beta in the next day or 2.

So now my hopes are crazy high even though I know that P4 isn't an indicator of pregnancy.

I'm going to go in on Thursday, 9DPO. My heart is all fluttery.

Labels: , ,

2 for the price of one!

Ultrasound wands up the hoo-ha, that is.

I had a follow up appointment with my RE yesterday. She wanted to make sure my ovaries were normal after the overstim debacle last week. Lefty is doing just fine, completely back to normal size. Righty is still a little swollen but otherwise looks a-ok, all is right with the world. She sent me off to the lab for a P4 blood draw and told me she'd call me later to update me on the measurement of my lining (the sonographist didn't write it down on my file). As I was waiting in line at the lab my favorite nurse runs up and tells me to head back down to see the doctor once my blood was drawn. The sonographist didn't measure my lining. We were so busy chatting with one another - her twin girls are IVF babies from the same clinic I'm heading to next week - it slipped her mind. I'm measuring 12.6 - awesome! It looks "gorgeous" according to the doctor and the sonographist. I actually have some hope for this cycle!

I'm 7dpo today. The past 2 cycles I've started to spot 9dpo. We're having a Derby/Cinco de Mayo bash on Saturday - I should know by then whether I can partake in some mint julips/sangria or not.

Labels: , ,