Peace of Mind is All I Want...: December 2008

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Dear Audrey,

2008 was quite a year for you.  

January - you came into my life on Sunday, January 20 and life hasn't been the same since.  (duh)  Some of my fondest memories are of you, so teeny tiny, snuggled up against my chest.  The first couple of weeks of your life FLEW by.  We had a constant stream of visitors all wanting to see you.  

February - was much calmer.  Your daddy's birthday is on 2/6.  It wasn't a big year for him from a birthday standpoint but really, what better gift could he ask for?  About halfway through February we were on our own (finally!) and settled into a nice groove with one another.  Luckily, Sonic instituted a "Happy Hour" special from 2 - 4 PM each day.  Half priced sodas!!  That insured that we got out of the house at least once a day :-)  I got my first real smile from you in February.

March - you took your first plane ride in March!  We went to Pittsburgh to visit everyone over St. Patrick's day weekend.  You attended your first wedding and everyone was smitten with you.  Naturally.  You started giggling in March.  It's still my favorite sound.  Your daddy gave you your first ever bottle.  I cried.

April - was another big month.  I took you to the movies for the first time.  I saw "21" and had chicken fingers.  You slept.  We had your baptized toward the end of the month and you met even more family.  It was a wonderful weekend!

May - you started daycare and I started back to work on May 1st.  This was very difficult for me even with the 2 extra weeks of maternity leave my boss gave me.  Luckily, we found a wonderful, small daycare center that is right across the street from my office.  I'm able to visit you at lunch which I look forward to all day.  We play for a little bit and I nurse you.  I'm so glad my schedule permits this because even today you're not a fan of taking a bottle.  It took until July before you'd even give it a try at school.

June - we went to Pittsburgh again.  This time to visit Nana before she had her hip replaced.  You sat up all by yourself for the first time while we were there.  We took another vacation at the end of the month, this time to Rhode Island to meet even MORE family.  These plane rides were definitely not as easy as the previous flights.  Sitting still on my lap is a thing of the past.

July - we were still in RI for the first few days.  It was a nice, relaxing visit.  We went to a polo match and walked along some beautiful cliffs.  I even left you (sleeping) for a half hour with Grandma Katy for the first time :-)  From Rhode Island we went to Pittsburgh (again) for Kelly Rose's wedding.  You wore the pinkest, fluffiest dress ever.  Your daddy bought it for you before you were even born :-)  At the end of the month you got your first 2 teeth!

August - your daddy had to go to California for work for a week!  He missed you a ton so we made sure we took lots of pictures.  He bought back so many presents for you.  Mostly dresses.  You had your first ever bite of real food - bananas.  You were very unimpressed.  After that we tried broccoli and sweet potatoes.  Those seemed more pleasing to your taste buds.  We went to the pool a couple of times in August and you had a blast!

September - we went to Miami in September over Labor Day weekend.  Grandma Katy had such a fun time playing with you.  We went for a swim at the country club and you were charming to everyone.  Of course.  You also watched your first football game at a local restaurant/bar and we met daddy's friends.  You got 2 more teeth in September and started crawling all over the place.

October - we went to Pittsburgh (again) for your new cousin Auggie's christening.  I'm pretty sure that will be the last time I fly with you by myself - you're a handful in all the best ways!  You said "mama" for the first time while we were there.  Love!!  You're a speed crawler now and will pull up to standing and shout out with excitement.  I didn't think you could get any cuter but you went and surprised me.  We took you to the pumpkin patch and dressed you up like a bunny for Halloween.  Grandma Katy came out to visit and is still crazy about you!

November - you added "ball" and "dada" to your vocabulary.  Grandma took you to the park and you rode in a swing and loved it!  Your crazy mom and dad took you to New York City.  Lots of firsts there: taxi ride, subway ride, 4 star dining.  It was lots of fun.  You're pulling up everywhere and creeping all around holding onto the furniture.  You "sing" and laugh all the time.

December - you had your first fever and ear infection this month.  Boo!  You're chattering up a storm and have added "night night", "Elmo" (daycare) and "oh no" to your vocabulary.  You have 7 teeth now.  You can stand for half a minute or so all by yourself - it's hard to believe that only 11 months ago you were so small.  We flew to Miami for Christmas this year and spent a week in the sun!  Grandma Katy really enjoyed having you there and had a wonderful time playing with you.  

Today is the last day of the most wonderful year of my life.  My sweet girl is upstairs sleeping and I can't wait to hold her tight and tell her how much I love her. 

Happy New Year, everyone.  This one is going to be hard to top. 

Friday, December 19, 2008

Very frustrated with a friend

I have a friend, we'll call her Amy. She has a husband, we'll call him Paul.

Amy and Paul got married a year before Todd and I. They planned on being married for 4 - 5 years before having children. Amy's father ended up getting very sick so they moved from Chicago to Pittsburgh so Amy could help her mom take care of her father.

Paul's had a tough go of things. He had a great career in Chicago that he obviously left behind. After studying for the bar exam in Pittsburgh he eventually found a job with a small firm that quickly blew up in his face after one of the partners ran off with a ton of $$. The other partners and Paul joined together to create a new firm that is slowly growing.

Well, Amy got pregnant - she's 36 weeks now. They weren't going to start trying until the beginning of '09 but as it turns out her father passed away in July. Although he didn't make it long enough to meet his first grandchild she was able to tell him about her pregnancy - he was thrilled and made sure every person in the hospital knew how proud he was.

Well, fast forward to now. Throughout her pregnancy Amy as been asking for advice and telling me all of her plans. Her priorities are totally effed up. She's seeing a midwife and wants a med-free birth (woohoo!). But she hasn't taken any childbirth classes or done any research. FINALLY, she has a 4 hour class scheduled for January 12. Her breastfeeding class is on Jan. 18th. She's due on Feb. 3.

But that's cool. Everyone handles things differently. I have a hard time grasping that sometimes but she has every right in the world to education herself however she'd like. I am not the Official Monitor of Prenatal Education.

She says that she wants to exclusively breastfeed her baby. She has to go back to work after 8 weeks so I've been talking to her about pumping. Her plan is to borrow a pump from a friend who used it through FIVE children. Five. After directing her to the Medela website and explaining that it's likely that pump will not be able to keep up with her, I think I may have gotten through there. I still don't think she grasps the logistics. She has to pump in the bathroom too - I've shared all of my tips but I don't think she believes me. I recommended a pump with a hands free option, especially if there isn't much counter space and she says "I don't think I'd use that." She just doesn't get it.

But the kicker is this email exchange we shared today.


I am a little sour on my loving husband at the moment. I understand he works really hard and for 80 hours every week, but I’m starting to get a little annoyed with his attitude. It’s my job to do everything else. Everything. I work, too! Granted, my job is way cushier but still. AND he’s running for Dormont Council in March. My bosses and the guys they work with are all the exact same way, but their wives don’t work. I reminded him about the midwife appointment this afternoon and he didn’t get pissy per se, but I was not pleased with his response. I told him he doesn’t need to go, this is not an important appointment but he gave me some “no time is good, so it doesn’t matter” crap.


Oh man…I feel for you. Of course his work life is crazy right now but the two of you are a partnership too! It’s hard to have a serious, matter of fact conversation when you’re hormonal but I’d ask how he’s planning to manage an 80 hour work week, running for office plus a newborn/working wife/household? Have you given any thought to your expectations of him once the baby arrives? Have you communicated those to him? I know you always planned to stay home with the kids – is it possibly that the change of plans hasn’t really sunk in for him yet? How did his parents manage their household?


Honestly – I think I can do this on my own. It worked out well when he was working full time & studying for the bar. Of course, there was no newborn at that point! But, he will essentially have to relinquish everything to my “power” - we already had to have a talk about me taking care of the bills from now on because he’s bee late a few times recently (flashbacks to living with Mary...) I think I am more worried about him becoming a random figure around the fringes instead of a really involved dad/husband. Again, I am surrounded by guys like this and their families are all fine but I know their wives do get frustrated with the constant rescheduling, etc. Eventually, I probably will be able to/”have to” stay home but right now it’s a struggle.

WTF?? AND she bought concert tickets for a show on March 1st. I asked her to remind me what the baby's due date is and her response "Feb 3 so no worries there". Like I was worried about the baby being born to the dulcet tones of Stevie Nicks.

She just has no clue and it's beyond frustrating to me. Why are there so many women that are PREPARED and WELCOMING of all the havoc and changes a baby would bring to their lives and they can't get pregnant or carry a baby. Then there are people like my friend who are essentially clueless but can get pregnant without even thinking about it. It's just not fair. At all.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Vote for my kiddo!

Once again, the fantastic Mollie is hosting a contest on her blog.

So if you're able to stand looking at a bunch of adorable babies click here and vote for #9.

And if you live in Austin, email mollie and book a session for yourself!! I promise you'll love her!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Baby's first fever

I don't think there's a spot in the baby book for "First Fever" but if there was, I would record 12/12/08 as that date. Boo!

Poor kid has been all kinds of snotty for the past weekish. December, lots of crazy weather changes, daycare - it's kind of par for the course. For the past 2 nights she's been waking up as often as usual (way too often) and screaming. Screaming! She has fallen right back to sleep after some nursing/rocking/back patting but seems totally out of it.

I dropped her off at daycare this morning and on my way over to the office made an appointment with her pediatrician. I went over at lunch to nurse her and she fell asleep in my arms and actually slept through the transition from my breast to the pack N play whcih she usually does not do. I knew something was up.

Sure enough, about an hour ago I got the call. She has a 100 degree fever and needs to be picked up. I called Todd and he was able to get her without any trouble so they're at the pediatrician's now. I wish I was there to hold her but mama is taking 2 vacation days the week after next and has very limited sick time. We accrue paid time off as we work and since I'm giving my notice in seven days (!!!!!) I have to keep an eye on that.

Ugh. I hope she's okay. We've been lucky to make it this far without any illness, especially factoring daycare. Fingers crossed that it's merely a cold.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Some big ones 'round here lately!

I just accepted a job offer for what appears to be my dream job; similar to what I do now but more interesting, a more relax/less micromanaged environment, and most importantly - part time! My position in its part-time conception is new so we'll see how things go but for now (well, in January) I'll be working 3 days a week, between 15 - 20 hours. I'm so focking happy, I can't even put it into words. Audrey's daycare is able to accommodate a part time schedule for her so she doesn't have to move. It's a beautiful thing.

That means TWO EXTRA DAYS a week with my girlie. And three extra mornings (or afternoons, depending on the hours I work). This opens up a world of opportunities for us. I've wanted to be more involved in the local mom/baby organizations but most of their meetings are during the week and during the day. I'd LOVE to be able to hang out with more families that have similar parenting philosophies. Since Audrey has been born my friends without kids have drifted a bit and I'm really missing girl time. I'm hoping this will help.