Peace of Mind is All I Want...: May 2009

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Last night

I got my first real armsspontaniouslyflungaroundmyneck hug. She pressed her cheek against my face with her skinny arms flung over my shoulders and my heart melted into a puddle in her hand. Had she asked me for a pony right at that moment I have no doubt that we'd be off pony shopping today.

I've gotten oodles of hugs consisting of her laying her head on me but never with actual arms involved.

There have been many happy tears in my household this week.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The best night of my life.

At least in recent memory....

Audrey and I met my friend and her 8 week old baby for lunch at Central Market. This friend has a 3 year old as well as the new baby. We had a lovely lunch during which my child was pulling out all of her cuteness. She was quickly fading but I figured we could squeeze a quick trip through the market since we desperately needed grapes and conditioner and my friend had to pick up some things also.

Audrey sat in the cart and was mostly happy. My friend put her things on the belt to check out and handed her little guy to me. Audrey burst into tears and started to call out "mama, mama, mama". I wanted to start crying as well. What am I doing, wrecking her life like this? (nevermind that my rational self knows that this is crazy. I love having a sister and wouldn't be the person I am without her.). Luckily my friend knew exactly what I was thinking. In fact she said "I know exactly what you're thinking right now. It will be fine. You might feel a little 'Sophie's Choice' ish right now but it will be fine." I laughed. It was all good. Audrey passed out in the car about 5 seconds after I got her into her carseat.

Fast foward to our after bath routine. Audrey, Todd and I are sitting on the guest bed getting her into her PJs while she flips around and acts like a maniac. This is one of my favorite parts of the day. She rolls from daddy to me, dispensing raspberries and climbing all over us. It's pure love. I started sobbing. Like, hard core. What does the kid do? She puts her hands on my cheeks (melt) and offers each of her cheeks to me to kiss (not sure when we adopted the European custom of double face kissing) and she lays her head on my chest. It was perfect. I will never forget that.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

When you're feeling down about parenting...

...go some place that has a lot of old ladies.

Monday and Tuesday (my at home days) were rough. I was particularly tired and Audrey was particularly grumpy. Yesterday I took her to Central Market - a local grocery store that has a cafe and an outdoor playground. We walked (well, I walked and she sat in the cart) through the store and made a couple of lunch purchases and then found a seat in the cafe to enjoy our lunch. She was "on fire" as I like to say. Extra cute, chattering away and doing her own particular Audrey thing. I was approached by no less than three grandmotherly types complimenting me on how awesome she is. One woman in particular really touched me. She said "It has been a joy watching your daughter". She went on to say that Audrey reminded her of HER daughter at that age, very interested in everything and alert. She rattled off her daughter's accomplishments - graduated summa cum laude, Mensa, etc. and then mentioned that she was only able to have one child. I told her that Audrey was our blessing as well and we enjoyed every minute with her.

I left there feeling MUCH better.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Home again and 10 weeks pregnant

What a great visit! This latest trip was hands down my favorite trip to Miami. Audrey and Grandma are adorable together. Even Gramps got in on the action - he held her more than I've ever seen him and even bought her a special gift from the zoo. My heart is all bursty over the love everyone has for my baby.

Sleeping was great - no issues at all over night. Napping was scarce but that wasn't a surprise. We went to the childrens museum, the pool, the zoo, the pool, the park, the pool, etc. She was kept very busy and it showed on the plane on our way home. Poor little bug was so tired and just couldn't get herself settled down. Unfortunately, she had quite a meltdown at 20,000 ft. but we all survived. She ended up conking out in the car on the way home at around 7 PM. I was afraid of how the rest of the night would go but she slept all the way until 11, woke up and had a quick cup of yogurt and some nursing and was back to sleep in no time. Sadly, she woke for the day at 5 AM but that's to be expected after such an early bed time.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant today. I'm pretty sure this will be the last week I'm in regular clothes full time. My shirts are all uncomfortably short and my pants are uncomfortably tight. I'm still fighting some nausea and food aversions but it's manageable. My skin is a mess which is not so fun but there are definitely worse things to be dealing with!

I see the midwives on 5/20. I'm crazy excited for the first appointment there.