Peace of Mind is All I Want...: July 2007

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Here comes the sun.

Well, not today but yesterday turned out to be quite nice. Naturally, it did rain a bit but it wasn't until much later in the day so we still managed to get some good outside time in. Stupid Texas weather.

I'm coming up on 16 weeks now. The fatigue is wearing off finally. I suspect weaning off of progesterone has helped with that. I've had a bit of nausea off and on the past couple of weeks but nothing too problematic.

Our NT screening was great - nothing worrisome at all. The blood test came back normal as well. Yippee! I don't see my OB again for another 2 weeks and then we'll schedule the BIG ultrasound. My mother called me last night to tell me that she thinks the baby will be a girl. I've thought that all along although Todd is insisting it's a girl. Time will tell.

My RE's nurse called me this morning to say hello :-) Mary is undoubtedly one of the sweetest women in the entire world and I miss her like crazy. I was really touched by her phone call.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Tidal wave

Warning: this is long. And I mention vomiting.

Todd and I got into a screaming (well, I was screaming anyway) argument the other day. My sister sent me a GIANT box of baby clothes handed down from her little guy. I tore into this box with unabashed delight and began sorting the different sizes and trying to believe that in around 25 weeks I will have a little person that fits into those tiny little shirts. Once I finished that I put the little ensembles into the drawers of the dresser that we're going to use in the baby's room. Of course I realized that the dresser still had to be moved into the baby's room but I wanted to DO something for my baby. I feel like we're in a holding pattern. Until we know the gender we don't want to start painting, etc. After waiting so long to GET pregnant I want to get a move on with all of the fun things I'd been dreaming about for so long.

So when my husband said "You do realize we're going to have to empty those drawers before the dresser is moved, right?" I came unglued. At first the tears just dripped down my face. Then I worked up some momentum and started to sob. Gut wrenching, soul jerking sobs. Everything I'd been holding in; the poison, the frustration, the sorrow, the joy, the relief - EVERYTHING was coming out. I was expecting this much earlier - right after the first sonogram or first heard the heartbeat maybe? I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time before the emotions and angst couldn't be contained.

Todd wasn't sure what to do but he did a pretty good job of winging it. He sat there on the bed with me, kept his mouth shut and called the dog into the bed with us. Poor Tallulah was covered in tears and snot. The sobs subsided, I dashed to the bathroom and puked up the rest of the venom while the two of them took a quick walk in the rain (presumably to wash the snot off of the dog).

Talk about cathartic. Sure, I've cried all along during our troubles conceiving. I mourned each and every cycle my womb was empty. I talked about our struggles to anyone who asked (and probably a lot of people that didn't ask). Infertility wasn't ever anything I tried to hide. What was off limits was the stabbing pain in my heart. I never wanted anyone IRL to feel uncomfortable or awkward so I always focused on what was positive: "No, we didn't have any luck this cycle but next cycle we're going to try _____ instead. There are great success rates with _____ drug and ____ procedure." etc. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard "You have such a great attitude"... (which is ironic because my blog is pretty damn morose in my opinion)

But it's over now. It's out. It's gone. For now anyway. I let it go. It will still be a part of me and it has shaped me into the person that I am but it no longer defines my character.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Nothing interesting to report

And that's okay!

I had an OB appointment this morning and heard the heartbeat again. I forgot to ask how fast it was beating but it sounded good and strong.

One more week of prometrium suppliments! Perhaps I'll have a bit more energy once that's over and done with? I asked my doctor about that - she seems to think that is the case. My iron level and everything else is normal, at least it's not anemia related.

I found a childbirth class we want to sign up for. It's a Bradley class instructed by a doula. I'm really, really excited about that. I want to do my best to try for an unmedicated birth. I'm probably crazy but since conception was so orchestrated I want to see if I can deliver my baby without being under the influence. Fingers crossed!

Hope everyone is doing well!

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007


After much debate we decided to reschedule the nuchal fold screening. Lo and behold, that appointment was for today.

It was a great appointment. My favorite ultrasound tech was in and she spent a lot of time with me looking at the baby and pointing out various parts of his/her anatomy. The best part - she burned it all onto a DVD because Todd couldn't make it. Including the heartbeat (162 bpm).

The baby is measuring about 5 days ahead of schedule now. Tomorrow I will be 13 weeks and baby is measuring 13 weeks 4 days. What an overachiever!

I can also cut back on the prometrium pills. Starting tomorrow only 2 pills a day for the next 7 days. After that, cut back to one pill a day for the next week. Then I'm done.

I can't believe I'm heading into the 2nd trimester. In 6ish months I will be responsible for a tiny little person. Holy cow.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

12 weeks


Life is good.

Nuchal Fold test is rescheduled for next Wednesday. Although the primary purpose is not for me to see the baby again I'm really, really looking forward to it. I miss him/her!

In other news, Todd and I actually had sex again. For the first time since that test came back positive. And it was really, really good! The funniest part was when we were finished and he went to get me a towel to lay on and I started to elevate my hips...we both looked at each other and laughed. Non baby making sex is pretty awesome. I think I'll try not to wait so long next time.

I'm still as tired as can be. Had another blood draw this morning to check P4 level. Fingers crossed that I can cut back on the prometrium soon.

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