Peace of Mind is All I Want...: December 2006

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Makin' it natural

Another day, another visit with the endocrinologist.

So today is CD4 which meant a happening time with the sonographist (woohoo - no cysts!) and an office visit with Dr. Bledsoe to come up with a plan for this cycle. We'll be away for the holidays and not arriving back in town until CD 15 which is too late for an IUI so we're going natural this cycle.

Of course when I say natural what I mean is:
  • 50mgs of Clomid CD 4 - 7
  • 100mgs of estrace CD 8 - 12
  • *NEW* Mucinex CD 8 - 14
  • 200mgs of Progesterone CD 17 - 27 unless I don't get my period then keep on taking it

Are you blinded with science? I sure am.

The good news is that last cycle was good. My eggs were good and I ovulated (yay!). The bad news is that my lining sucks but the estrace is supposed to help with that. My fingers are crossed.

So here's to hoping! (again)

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Another day, another gut punch

I feel betrayed by my body. Seriously. I have done everything I'm supposed to do. I cut back my caffeine consumption, I drink green tea, water, prenatal vitamins, EVERYTHING. I was so certain, so optimistic that this time was it, especially after all of the signs my body was giving me. A negative test wasn't even in the realm of possibility.

I should be used this. Afterall, my body has been betraying me over and over for the past 16 months. I KNOW better then to take a test before I'm supposed to, especially after getting a low temperature this morning. My heart sank when I saw that and yet I still decided it was a good idea to torture myself anyway. And then as if that wasn't enough I started to spot...

Is it better to live childless then to continue to go through this agony month after month? We have our puppy to love and take care of, can that be enough? Can I continue to socialize with my friends and family with all of their babies if that is the decision we make? I don't know. I can easily see myself morphing into the most bitter creature on the planet. I'd have to find a way to make that decision convincingly and not as a cop out to avoid another procedure.

Signing off again for now.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Cautiously Optimistic

My husband and I did another round of IUI this cycle and I have myself 99.9% convinced that I'm pregnant. Symptoms:

* Exhausted
* No appetite (I'm normally STARVING at this point in my cycle)
* Sore back
* Sore breasts

And most tellingly:
* Painfully sore, constantly hard nipples

Wicked uncomfortable.

So I'm chilling (watching Season 1 of my new most favorite TV show Veronica Mars) until Friday when I can take a pregnancy test. Or Thursday - afterall, I did buy the "early response" tests. The current plan (in my head) is to take one tomorrow, one Friday and one Saturday.

This would be the best f-ing Christmas ever.