Peace of Mind is All I Want...: A two part post

Peace of Mind is All I Want...

Monday, May 28, 2007

A two part post

Part 1:

Background: H & I had some issues getting pregnant. We got our BFP after 2 years. His parents, my parents, my sister and a couple of friends (and the whole internet) have know about our troubles.

Todd's cousin & husband (and 2 year old) live in Dallas. He's kind of close with her but they've drifted apart over the years. She's one of the more superficial I've encountered - it's all about "image" with the 2 of them. Their daughter is always immaculately dressed in foofy dresses, isn't allowed to play outside, can't feed herself (she might spill!), etc. She spent more on the dress her daughter wore to our wedding then I did on my dress Their daughter is the only grandchild on that side of the family and is treated like a princess.

The 3 of them were in town visiting us over the weekend. My husband called them about a week ago to tell them our good news. At that point they fessed up about knowing about our troubles. I'm not particulary shy/reserved about talking about infertility so I was a little surprised that they never said anything but I didn't give it much thought.

They arrived on Friday and got settled, etc. Hugs, kisses, congrats, etc then we all loaded into the car to go out to dinner. Not 2 minutes after we got into the car she says to her husband "Honey, should we tell them the good news? We're pregnant too!". And she thinks she's due on the same day (she hasn't seen her OB yet to confirm anything).

I thought I was going to cry. On one hand, it's unreasonable of me to think that the rest of the world is putting their procreating plans on hold because of us. And it's not like anyone could have predicted that we'd be pregnant. But on the other hand could she have waited 24 more hours to make the announcement?

For the rest of the weekend everywhere we went she mentioned that she was pregnant to every sales clerk, restaurant server, etc. She also informed me that "Our lives were going to change so much". I'm so glad she brought that up - we jumped into this so impulsively I hadn't realized

I feel like a complete asshole for being so petty and jealous. Even my husband is a little hurt. Are we a matched pair of jackasses?

Part 2:

Today is 6w5d and we saw the baby's heartbeat this morning. I've never seen anything so amazing in all of my life. I don't have to go back to the RE for 4 more weeks! I don't think I've gone that long between visits ever. I do have to see my OB in 2 weeks. I'm sure I'll be jonesing for another ultrasound by then anyway.

My fibroid is still lurking around. I'm trying to think of it as an guardian angel for my baby. If anyone has any fibroid info to share I'd be happy to read it. I'm afraid to turn to Dr. Google.

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At 5/29/07, 4:57 PM , Blogger PCOSMama said...

Personally I'd be ticked too - can't people have a little tact (is that the right word)? But like you said, they are superficial people and are probably petty. I'm sure she gave no thought to you and your hubby's feelings. Just take comfort in knowing that you are a much more sensitive person and know the proper way to handle these things!

Congrats on the heartbeat! It truly is amazing! So when is your due date?

At 5/29/07, 6:37 PM , Blogger My Reality said...

Congrats on the heartbeat!

No, you are not a jackass.

At 5/29/07, 7:35 PM , Blogger Samantha said...

Yay! Heartbeat!

With your friend, don't judge yourself or your husband harshly for how you feel. You've gone through a tough time getting where you are. Your friend has waltzed in without difficulty and it doesn't feel fair. You are still grieving over your hardship, but your friend has no idea. I completely know how you feel. Feelings are not something we can really control, so don't beat yourself up about it.

At 5/30/07, 7:35 AM , Blogger Adrienne said...

Congratulations on a great u/s!

As for the cousin: sounds like someone can't stand it if she's not the center of attention. That was really rude and self-centered of her.

At 5/31/07, 6:22 PM , Blogger Baby Blues said...

There's just no getting away from people like her. I know exactly it feels. My hubby's family has a little princess as the only granddaughter too. But I'm glad they're more sensitive now that we're out about our IF. Although we don't get to see them as often anymore, that also helps. :-)

Congratulations on the heart beat!

At 6/2/07, 7:17 PM , Blogger Baby Blues said...

Nothing as soothing as hearing that heartbeat... congratulations!

At 6/3/07, 5:04 PM , Blogger Tanner said...

I'm so happy for you. It must have been amazing to hear the little hearbeat. Congrats!!!


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