Had anothe rspotting incident last night accompanied by some wicked back pain. The baby was moving all over the place so I was pretty confident that she was just fine but I called the after hours line to see if they had any advice, etc. The nurse told me to take it easy, drink lots of fluid and lay on my left side (does anyone know why?) and call in the morning to see if my OB wants to see me. She did.

Luckily, everything is a-okay. Audrey was wiggling all over the place and they found her heartbeat right away beating steady and stong. Dr. checked my cervix (ouch) and tested my urine for bacteria (negative) - everything checked out just fine.

Looks like it may have been a blood vessel in my cervix or something like that. All is well though and that's all that matters.

Spotting and some randomness

Spotting: I had a spotting episode Thursday night that scared the crap out of me. Luckily I heard the baby's heartbeat that morning and knew deep down everything was okay but it was still a strong reminder not to take anything for granted.

I called my OB's on call line and got the standard rest, drink a lot of water and take it easy line. I've been embracing all of those things since then. Weds. was a pretty intense day at work complete with packing and shipping way more boxes then I should have handled. I will know better next time, that's for sure.

Randomness: As I was driving home from getting my haircut I was confronted with horrible music on each and every station. I popped in the first CD I could get my hands on without wrecking the car and it happened to be a mix cd I made after a negative beta a while back. I'd like to thank the guys in Audioslave for their tune "I Am The Highway". While I'm sure they didn't have IF in mind when they wrote/recorded it, this song really spoke to me during the worst of times:

Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars don't wait for me
I'll get on all by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

Crossroads

On to a new cycle.

My LP last cycle was 12 days and that's if you include 4 full days of spotting. That's a concern, right?

I see my acupuncturist this afternoon then my RE on Monday. My husband is going to come with me to this appointment so we can have a big talk about what next. I'm 99% sure that we're going to do another IUI cycle but I want to know what our options are if that doesn't work. My RE has never mentioned IVF, I've never seen any IVF information in the office. Is it possible that she doesn't do it?

I feel like I'm at a crossroads right now, like the next decision I make is going to be tremendiously important. It's rather unsettling.

Spotting

Started spotting a little while ago. I think it's time to throw in the towel this cycle.

11 DPO and (obsessively) counting v2.0

So...what do you think? The spotting is freaking me out but it could be a good thing. I head to the RE tomorrow afternoon for a progesterone test, a sonogram (woohoo!) and a visit with my doc to make sure my ovaries aren't hyperstimulating (although it seems to me that it would be too late at this point to do anything about it but what do I know?).

Husband and I are in the midst of a discussion (as we've been for a couple of days now) about our future TTC plans. He's really pushing for IVF - I'm really afraid. A very wise woman set me on the right course so at least my head is in the right space to rationally discuss our choices without too much fallout. So stop by Mel's blog if it's not already part of your rotation. She's really smart.

Today's post

I'm 10DPO and my temp has plummeted. This cycle was my first on injectibles but our 4th round of back to back IUIs. My previous IUIs were done w/clomid.

On clomid I o-ed on CD14 or 15 and had a LP of 15 or 16 days. Never any midcycle spotting.

This cycle I O-ed on CD13. Today is 10DPO and I had a huge temp fall and just noticed brown & red blood (sorry for the TMI) in my CM.

My message board is telling all about implantation dips/spotting and I'm hoping that's what this is. I feel like IF has stolen my optimism along with my sanity, naivety and hopefullness. What do y'all think?