I'd like the world to know...

I really, really appreciate my children.

My daughter is healthy, smart, funny, sassy, adorable, compassionate and loving.

My son is healthy, affectionate, inquisitive, alert, precious, adorable and a ball of love.

And they're mine. I'm so blessed. And focking lucky.

Routine

I had a routine exam at my OB's today. The same OB that has an office next door to my RE. It was funny how it all came back to me though. The "good" place to park, the floor, the elevator - even the same woman at the receptionist's desk. She recognized me too. But this time there was no directive to head next door to their waiting room, no tedious wait for the ultrasound tech, no biting back tears watching the big pregnant bellies and squeaky newborns wait for their turn. It was just another annual exam like every other woman has. Routine*.

*well, not exactly routine. The abscess I had on my breast 2 years ago is back but not at the painful stage yet. I have a RX to take that will hopefully take care of it before it gets bad.

"Our Family Song"

Audrey doesn't like to sleep. Never has. We've loaded an i.Pod with some Beatles music and it plays in her room during nap and night time - this has improved things tremendously. She has taken to a couple of Beatles songs.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer - she calls this one "Bang Bang Bang" and it's her favorite song. When they sing "bang bang" she makes a hammer motion. Hilarious

Oh Darling - this is mama's song.

Octopus's Garden - this is daddy's song.

Here Comes the Sun - this is our family song. Melts my heart. I listened to a lot of Beatles while I was pregnant with Audrey. This song made me cry every time. It summarizes the way I felt after finally conceiving a baby, making it to the point of viability and (eventually) giving birth.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

The sweet spot

We've hit a very sweet spot lately. 4.5 months and 26.5 months is a great combo for my kiddos. Finn is very alert and is starting to "play" with toys. Audrey is a little mama and loves to take care of him. What does that mean to me? Two little ones that can entertain each other for a few minutes without requiring any intervention on my part! Audrey will go get "hims" toys and hand him rings, balls, burp cloths. He will endlessly take things from her and grip them as if his life depends on it. She'll start squealing then he falls suit. It's amazingly hilarious and hopefully a sign of their future relationship.

I'm so very blessed and I know it. I thank my lucky stars every single night that these children made their way into my life.

Not yet ready

We went to Miami for Easter and I forgot my Zoloft. I've been feeling really great lately so I didn't call my doc to have a prescription transferred to a local pharmacy - I thought maybe I could quit taking it. The whole weekend was great! The kids had a blast, we had a blast (with the exception of my raging case of pink eye), all was well. Then we got home.

I've been feeling off all week. Tired, in a funk, unproductive. Todd forgot to send Finn's bottle to daycare this morning (I have milk in the freezer there and they have lots of spare bottles) and I cried as I left daycare. I went to see him at lunch to nurse him and found a pacifier in his swing that they had been giving him (I'm still not OK with that, crazy pills or not) and my stomach did a flip. Both things are a little disconcerting but I'm bent way out of shape over it and I shouldn't be.

Then it hit me. Zoloft. I'm not ready to be off of it yet. And that's okay.