Babywearers - check this out!

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Holy cow - wouldn't you love to add all of the above to your stash? Swoon!

5 months old

First off, thank you for the comments on my previous post. While I hate that there are others thinking/fretting over this it is comforting to know that I'm not alone.

Onto more pleasant things! Like my kid! She's five months today!

And fantastic. So mindblowingly fantastic. I wish you could see the smile on my face when I think of her, I'm practically swooning. I don't recall a time in my life when I've felt as satisfied, content, proud, confident, settled - I could go on. Todd and I could definitely stand to work on our relationship more but all in all, things are pretty good right now.

The kid is healthy, happy and so very funny. She has such a big personality and is simply DELIGHTED by everything. The way she looks around and takes in her surroundings kills me. She's sitting up by herself now so we've put her in a high chair when we've gone out to eat and it's HILARIOUS watching her watching everything.

When she's tired she either morphs into a crankpants or she gets slap happy. She'll laugh at anything. Touch her nose: giggles. Blow raspberries on her feet: giggles. Sneeze: giggles. It's almost worth keeping her up a few minutes too late to goof around a bit.

My favorite time of the day is when her eyes pop open for the first time of the day. She looks over at me with an incredulous expression on her face as if she's overwhelmed with joy that I'm RIGHT. THERE! I have been known to shed a tear or two at the giant smile.

We're thinking about some solid foods within the next 3 - 4 weeks. I don't want to rush it, especially since we have a lot of traveling coming up. I've been reading a lot on www.babyledweaning.com - interesting stuff!

#2

Last night Todd and I had The Talk about having another baby. Back before I knew how hard it would be to get pregnant I dreamed of have 2 kids pretty close in age. Now that I know what's involved with us getting pregnant (2+ years and a whole lot of drugs/procedures/anxiety), I'm just not sure what I want to do.

I hate the idea of not ever being pregnant again and never having another baby. But on the other hand I don't know if I can emotionally cope with infertility crap again AND be a good mama to Audrey.

This is making me insane. I've been super, duper emotional with every little milestone Audrey hits and I figured out that it's because I'm so terribly afraid that I will never experience any of this again. Sounds like I really want to give it a try, right? So why is it that when I think about getting pregnant again I want to vomit and I can actually feel my heartrate accelerate?

Ugh. Any magic answers out there? Anyone have any heartwarming stories about how much easier it was to conceive #2?

Milestones and a VERY emotional mama

Dear Audrey,

Right before my very eyes you have morphed from being my Tiny One to my Big Girl. I can't put my finger on the precise moment but I know it happened sometime within the past few days.

My Tiny One was content to sit on her mama's lap and take in the wonders of the world. She would nurse until her belly was full and nuzzle her sweet little cheek against my skin when she was finished and doze off for a few minutes.

My Big Girl is content to sit on my lap but only if she can grab at everything: my glasses, my shirt, the remote control, a pen, my glass of water, our neighbor on the airplane's necklace. Anything within your eyesight is fair game.

My Big Girl can sit all by herself. She can roll from back to belly and belly to back. She can play with toys. If presented with a number of objects she will select for herself which she would prefer to clutch in her little hand.

My Big Girl no longer gives me her undivided attention when I go over to her school to nurse her at lunchtime. She's much too busy watching the other kids play and lunging off of my lap to join them.

I love watching you thrive and live for your gummy smiles. There are no words to describe my love for you. You are my heart.