A dilemma
My husband started a new job about 7 months ago (he's in the mortgage industry - ugh). The company is terrific - great pay, benefits, etc. They're very good about communicating to their employees how the market is affecting their bottom line which is very reassuring to me.
A couple of weeks ago they won a big piece of government business (which makes his job MUCH more stable - yay!). In order for Todd to get started on this project he has to get some kind of certification which requires some pretty specific training (a 3 day class). The company is paying to have the trainer come out here so they can get everyone in his division certified at once. Naturally, the training is scheduled for 4 days after my due date.
Todd went to talk to his manager yesterday after the memo with the dates came out. His manager made a really shitty comment about "having to decide what is more important". Luckily he stayed a lot calmer then I would have in that situation and he didn't resign right then and there because there aren't a lot of stable jobs in the industry right now and we can't afford to have him unemployed for very long. He went to talk to HR this morning - she was much more gracious, apologized for the assholeness of his manager and reassured him that they'll figure something out. He has a meeting with his manager's boss (who is the one that scheduled the training) this afternoon to get his feedback. I'm secretly hoping they'll push back the training but I know that isn't realistic at all.
Todd hasn't been there long enough to qualify for FMLA. In fact, he'll only have 2 paid days off when the baby is born. Our tentative plan is for him to take off a 3rd day unpaid and a couple of half days after that. My mother and sister are planning to fly out when I give them the okay (we have no family here). In my mind they would arrive the first 1/2 that Todd goes back to work.
I really don't want to rock the boat too hard with his job. He really likes it there and can see himself working there for a long time, his manager isn't usually such a jackass and they have wonderful benefits. Am I crazy for considering an induction in order to get the logistics of his training, my mother & sister's travel arrangements and our collective piece of mind settled?
posted by Chris @ 1:04 PM
5 Comments:
I don't know that I would consider you crazy for considering an induction... I think you are between a rock and a hard place. It sounds like he needs to do the training regardless and just look forward to the weekend. Sorry you have this going on :(
I don't know what to tell you about induction, it seems drastic, but perhaps something to discuss risks with your doctor. It seems extremely unfair that your husband's job can't provide any flexibility or be willing to advance any leave.
I don't know if your due date is scheduled or if nature will take her time and decide but I would think even if he were in the middle of a class and got the call that you were on the way to the hospital, nobody would give a second thought to him leaving. It might mean him making up what he misses later on his own but at least he would be with you. (Is the training local or would he be out of town? that might make a big difference in planning). The long and the short of it is that jobs with great benefits are not that easy to find right now, especially in his industry and I would hesitate to rock the boat too much. But then again, I am the queen of worrying.
I am disgusted that "what is important" isn't immediately obvious to that boss!
I with Samantha about dicussing an induction with your doctor. It just seems wrong that you would have to schedule childbirth around your husband's job.
You know what's kind of funny is that scheduling problems actually weighed in on my decision to go with a repeat c-section. I probably would have done it either way, but it definitely got factored in that we have no one who could watch our daughter on short notice for a sudden going-into-labor birth.
As far as an induction... if it's close to your due date and your doctor is ok with it, it shouldn't be a big deal. Though you need to consider the risk of needing a c-section is higher with an induction.
I agree with the others though that when the time came noone would think twice about your husband leaving to be with you. Something can always be worked out to make up what he missed.
Good luck!
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