What the F is wrong with me?

I got my period, that's what's focking wrong with me. Although I guess 16 months without having to deal with this is a pretty good run.

Some TMI info: my blood is bright red. I wonder if that means I'm cured? HA hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I'll be interested to see if my cycles are at all regular now. There's no way I'm up for charting yet - Miss A is not at all consistent with when she wakes up at night and is nowhere close to sleeping through the night. I wonder if I might have some luck with OPKs? Or should I just let it go for now and see what happens?

I can feel the obsession starting to creep into my life again. (Although it is MUCH less expensive to obsess over one's ovulation then one's daughter's wardrobe.) My pregnant friend has just scheduled her 18 week sonogram and I'm SEETHING with jealousy. I'm trying very, very hard to be enthusiastic and upbeat (luckily email is our primary form of communication) but it's very difficult. I feel like a really ugly person.

And this period thing is just making it worse. Now I know there is the possibility that I "might could" (I love talking Texan) get pregnant I'm sick with thinking about it. My baby is only 7 months. I do not want my children this close together but I'm fretting about waiting too long and missing my chance. I'll be 33 on Tuesday - if it takes another 2 years then I have the whole "Advanced Maternal Age" thing to concern myself with.

Hopefully the hormones will ease up in a day or two and I can chill. There's nothing gained by all of this worry aside from dark circles under my eyes and a knot in my shoulder.